Post by 1footwilly on Oct 18, 2011 10:31:02 GMT -5
Monday, October 17th 2011, 10 am EST.
The message on the wind line was a call to arms, a challenge for all real men with the cojones to head out to Hamburg and take on the 40knot wind and 10 foot waves. Such a brazen challenge cannot be ignored so I picked up the gauntlet and hit the highway to Hamburg. No sooner had I passed Batavia then I received an update from His Ballsness Himself. The destination for the heroic few had been moved to Sunset Beach, a mere 40 minutes west of Hamburg itself. Two Kite Knights and the King himself were en route; I retrenched, set aside my doubts along with commonsense and followed. My trip meter measured a hundred miles as I drove along the Erie shanties that dot the beach side at Sunset. Eventually I spied a Jeep tatted with stickers next to a sand dune, like soldier crouching for cover. I knew I finally arrived in time for the epic event to begin.
As I approached the beach, the sand blowing so hard it penetrated my eyelids, the first thing I notice were row upon row of violent white waves, like the rows of teeth on some mythical White Shark. Beyond the sharks hungry teeth plumes of spray could be seen soaring skyward from the peaks of 10 foot waves,,,,mini water spouts in the making. It was precisely at this point that my cojones checked out for the day, gone, vamoose, bomb they vanished like the pier that was disappearing under the slapping surf.
Covering my head as best I could in my hood I ducked behind the Jeep seeking shelter from the blowing sand which was so furious it filled my sneakers as I stood there. It was then I spied movement to my left, had I a gun I would have drawn a bead on the washed out bugged eyed manic stumbling in my direction.
Unfortunately for the windsurfing community I was unarmed. As this wild eyed menace approached recognition hit me like a 12 foot breaker, it was the King of Balls himself, half drowned, half dead, totally nuts. Anyone who knows our man Jimmy knows already what was said….”Holy nuts I almost died out there!” The truth is this time I believed him. I hung out for a short time to visit with the Kite gods, both of whom sail that spot all the time and both of whom bailed as fast as they could. They were great guys and I did really appreciate that they allowed Jim and I to use their cottage so that we might find out what lies out there in the great unknown after life departs our water soaked bodies. So boys there you have it, straight up and unpolished, another day with Jimmy King, dead man walking.
